Helping Janna “Get Married” with Hypnosis Therapy

When Janna Jenkinson called me, she said she needed hypnosis to help her with relationships. We had a brief conversation over the phone, and I explained to her my process and the fees involved. She wanted to come as soon as possible.

“I don’t believe I will ever meet anyone…” She was sitting in the hypnosis chair, crying. “All of my friends are getting married and having kids. I am 36. I am afraid I will be alone my whole life.” This is a critical age for a woman to feel this fear, especially after a number of relationships have failed, leaving a woman feeling heartbroken. And that clock — the one that is ticking, it’s always on the mind of any woman in her 30’s.

“Help me. How do I overcome this? I feel like it will never work out for me.” Janna was a lawyer, working in midtown Manhattan. Usually long hours with practically no time to sit and eat proper lunch and dinner. Overworked, drained, heart broken.

She was dating a man for 6 months, who she met online. He left her 5 months ago.

“He said it was better to go separate ways. As if he had a lot work to do on himself and was not ready for a relationship. But then, you know what? I just found out he got engaged last month.”

“How do you feel?” I ask her.

“Betrayed,” says Janna

“What else?”

“I think, there is something wrong with me,” she responds, looking down.

“Close your eyes,” I gave her a few instructions to help induce a relaxing state of hypnosis, “Go to the first time, first event, first scene that has everything do with this feeling.”

“I am at home. My mom and dad are fighting. I feel scared.”

Through some questions and answers back and forth and moving through different events, I learned that her father had left their family for his secretary, when Janna was about 8 years old. He had two more kids with the new woman. Janna’s mom and Janna never recovered from this. Janna felt abandoned, betrayed. She believed her dad left because she was not good enough somehow. Janna’s mom never found anyone after her husband left her.

Later in life Janna would approach dating with the constant need to be accepted, loved and validated. She was constantly fearing the man would leave her. She acted desperate, overly emotional and needy. They often left. So her belief “I am not enough” has extended into “ I don’t have it what it takes to be a wife, men do not want to commit to me.”

“You have been pushing them away, Janna.”

“I agree… but I can not stop this feeling,” she says.

I invite Janna to imagine a new life trajectory, one where she is able to change her life and ultimately manifest marriage and family with the right man. I ask her only to look into the future, where it all happened.

“Let’s invite your future self for some insight and advise. Would you like that?” With the tears in your eyes, Janna welcomes the idea.

“200 deeper relaxed, 199 way down, 198 here we are, your future self stands before you. Ask her what it takes to become her.” Janna asks her future self the question. Then I instruct Janna to embody her future self and from her perspective look at Janna in the hypnosis chair right here right now.”

Her posture changes, she sits up straight.

“ Oh dear. Lighten up. There is nothing wrong with you. Never have been. Love yourself. Cherish yourself. You are magnificent. You father had his own life. Separate his story from yours.” Janna breathes deeply. “Separate his story from yours.”

“Take it all in now.” I give Janna a moment to breathe. I ask her to thank her future self and come back into the present moment. “Now what will you do different?” I ask her.

“ Change me.”

“How?”

“I want to see me, not my old story when father left us. His story shouldn’t define me. I want to be bold and confident. I want to see my value, my worth independent of that.”

We go back in time and revisit those events, which she saw at the beginning of the session. Before we finish, I ask the wise part of Janna to communicate with an 8 year old Janna and tell her what she needs to hear and know to grow into the new version of Janna — confident and bold, with high self esteem and self worth.

“ 1 2 3 4 5 back in time now… back to those events that had everything to do with the old feeling. Look at your 8 year old self. Make sure she sees you now. Talk to her.”

“It is not your fault, this has nothing to do with you. Dad and mom have their adult stuff to work out. Dad will be happy elsewhere, but he loves you too and will always be around. You will see. You are beautiful. You are lovable, you are always enough and you will grow up into an amazing woman.”

She “hugs” her little self, holding her really tight.

When Janna left my office she gave me a hug, “I feel lighter. Thank you.”

Two months later Janna called saying she had a talk with her dad, it was absent of the old resentment and grief. She opened up to him about the troubles she had in her relationships. To her surprise, he was very supportive of her and told her he was sorry about what happened and how much he wanted her to be happy. He even gave her some encouragement and advice on meeting a man. She felt a stronger bond with her dad ever since. They became “friends.”

A few years later I saw Janna’s wedding pictures on Facebook. She was happy.

With hypnosis therapy you can travel through your time lines, rewrite your story and switch the direction of your life trajectory. It is all in how you see it. Find another view, like a camera angle — and you’ll shift your perception and how you feel. This way you may change the course of your life story today.

Disclaimer: names of clients are changed, and scenarios slightly modified.